BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO! Taking life too seriously can rob you of enthusiasm, motivation, and that twinkle in you eye -- causing mutant life forms to grow in the cerebellum of your brain. (Noted oral surgeons believe this is what happened to George W. Bush and ... well, come to think about it, pretty much his whole cabinet.)

There are two techniques for getting life back on the right track. The first, find a great buy on furniture wax - 50% off should work. The other, and this might take a little more effort on your part, is to acquire a a positive, humorous outlook. (I've checked the discount stores so don't bother.) Face it, nobody likes constant complainers (unless they're buying dinner) whereas we flock to people who are positive. With the exception of people in the Big Apple, humor and laughing can never be underestimated. It's an essential part of life, promoting good health by releasing endorphins (little worms in your intestines). You feel good with less stress and indirectly, have almost zero chance of contracting scurvy.

It's possible to find humor even when bombarded with absurd situations where:

• some yokel with a lip full of chew, in a 60s something mufflerless pickup, cuts you off at an intersection,
• a "change challenged" checkout person has caused the line your in to now end in the men's restroom,
• your suave boss, who continues to get bonuses and added responsibilities, doesn't have a clue how to manage people,
• the pet hamster had babies and, now you can't find her or the babies.

People deal with life in a positive way all the time. Here's a real example. I purchased some videos but one was incorrect. Contacting the seller this was the response: "Its really hard to get good employees these days. They either want to play XBOX on line or watch Ellen & Jerry on TV all day. We have beheaded the responsible culprit, and flogged the rest. We'll see if we have a replacement for the wrong tape here. If not, we'll issue you a refund. Sorry about the inconvenience - the Vidiot." A reply like that puts a smile on your face -- making the situation a whole lot easier to stomach.

Daily events lead to so much negative programming it's easy to forget the incredible things we and the people around us have to offer.

This site is all about learning how to get up in the morning with a positive outlook - even when the cat barfed a hairball right below where your foot will hit the floor. It's time to fight back and deal proactively with those things that quite simply, piss us off (pardon my vulgarity).

Following my suggestions will lead to un-told riches - herds of friends - a physique that Arnold Schwarzenegger will envy - and a colon so clean your neighbors will ask you how you did it. Ok, maybe not, but it will help you face the world with more energy, enthusiasm, and motivation.

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