Confused about where we've been going? You're not alone, I'm totally lost. This unit will rope everything together - creating a simple to follow process for creating your own "Change Me" program.

• Mirror - Mirror: Who Are YOU?
• I'm OK and You're So-So: A quick look at self-worth.
• The critic arises from within: Klepto and how to dump the sucker.
• Hey man, My sunglasses are really scratched: Seeing through your mental distortions.
• Oops, I shouldn't have done that: Reframing our mistakes into learning experiences
• Worry Warts: Get over and beyond them worries.
• Life's a bowl full of jelly: Dealing with low times and stress.
• Tofu and you: Being healthy isn't in the frozen food section.
• Making people want you: Presenting yourself.
• Don't miss the starting gun: Replace time management with self management
• That little thing called Love: Let your best side out.
• Go to your happy place: Mental focusing for change.
• And here you are.

Wow!! We've sure covered a lot of ground but the last is the best. Goal setting and planning for change is so highly important because it:

• Creates purpose
• Focuses on the future
• Smoothes out the bumps in life
• Helps you learn from mistakes

In order for your "Change Me" program to work, you must believe a SPECIFIC change is needed and is POSSIBLE. Now, if you finished all the previous units and really didn't find parts of you that need a little improvement - GREAT! But, if you did run across deficiencies you'd like to work on, then identify them first. Let's not call them goals - as that seems a little formal. Call them Change Happens Using Me or CHUMs (kind of catchy, eh?!). It's not fair to start with a whole lot of CHUMs so try to keep your list short. It's also helpful to look at classifying them into those you can accomplish quickly and those that'll take a little more time.

Check out this page for how to get those CHUMs identified.

Writing down your CHUMS is a great idea because I've told you to and - not so importantly - it forces you to make that first step. Need to be identified they do (now I'm beginning to sound like Yoda). After you write them down, spend some time thinking about what it is that you actually want to accomplish. In the previous units I made a big deal about observing the behavior to be changed. What is the environment that it occurs in and what is your usual response? Consider the consequences of your actions. Seek out your feelings and use the Force.

CHUMs identified, written down, categorized, ranked, with environment and feelings considered. To get your Change Me program going you'll need to complete the following:

• Create a statement(s) about what you want to accomplish:
• Be time specific - this much each week
• Be behavior specific - observe model of the behavior you desire
• Be reinforcer specific - what do you get out of it?
• Set the stage
• Use mental conditioning - affirmation statements, mental focusing, rebuttals, or others I've mentioned
• Identify cues or warning signs - remove those distortions, increase your awareness, and know when your target behavior happens most often.
• Locate the time and place to practice the desired behavior - if it's something you can't control mentally, focus on when it happens and then be ready.
• Identify high-risk conditions for you - from external circumstances or times when your mood is ripe for the behavior to occur. For me, not enough sleep is a high-risk time for my temper to flare (more like a three-alarm fire).
• Respond faithfully to the stimuli
• Use your CHUMs statement for the positive change you're looking for
• Create self instructions so you know how to act - review the steps in other units like how to get rid of Klepto.
• Monitor and evaluate your program
• Keep a log of how you're doing
• Make changes where necessary
• Don't worry about not succeeding immediately - it takes time to reprogram a new you - give it time
• Ask someone to help you - This is a great way to stay motivated and be held accountable. Try to pick a good friend. If you're desperate, send me an email. I'd be glad to help.

I know all these steps seem like a monumental task and - well - quite honestly - they kind of are. So why bother? Because the sense of accomplishment and a new positive outlook will create a release of new energy. Hey, it'll just make your days more doable - even after you hear the evening news. So one last time - here's what you're after:

• Know who you are
• Strengths & weaknesses
• Personality
• Awareness
• Be determined
• Reprogramming takes time and dedication
• Is it too late because you're an old geezer like me? Nope!
• Is the cost worth the effort? - You bet
• Establish CHUMs
• Be detailed
• Be time specific
• Examine condition and environment
• Be realistic
• Create a plan
• Write stuff down - always!!!!
• Use cognitive and behavioral therapy techniques
• Ask others for help
• Use positive reinforcement to keep you motivated
• Visualize your success

The most important part about changing is wanting to. This means being willing to write down what you want, plan for it, and then following through. It's all too easy to think about how it would be nice to not …..or maybe you'd like to be more …. The change is up to you and, even though life does get a bit too serious at times, you'll need to be serious if you want positive changes to happen to you.