If you want to keep in touch with your mistakes, just marry my wife. She has this keen ability for remembering all of mine and then using them against me in a court of law. Such drastic measures aren't necessary since you're probably an expert at remembering them yourself. The worst part of our subconscious is this incredible Stop - Rewind - Play feature when it comes to past failures. "Let the tape roll" in living color when you least expect it (really, when you least need it).

So, how to move beyond past transgressions and be a more positive - future-oriented person? That's what this unit is all about and it ties in well with how to grow asparagus in a hydroponic environment. If that's of real interest to you, look for my next book "Bathtubs, hot tubs, and other ways to stimulate growth."

Step into the "Way Back Machine" and travel back to the self-esteem unit. One of the central ideas was that self-esteem has nothing to do with being perfect! It has to do with unconditional acceptance of yourself and the mistakes you make. Accepting yourself is not something you do after correcting a mistake - it's something you do in spite of mistakes. You must promote your self-worth constantly to make your mistakes work for you. Review that unit if you'd like. Sure, go ahead - you're not paying for any of this quality information anyway - even though I've slaved at it for untold hours in a small office with nasty rodents eating at my shoe strings.

It is important to realize that accomplishments aren't always instantaneous. Trial and error is a natural process, unless you're Bill Gates and then you just borrow a few things here and there. Why, a lot of famous people made mistakes - often, even when using the English language. Check out this site for some examples:

A wise man told me once that "When you do nothing, you don't make mistakes, when you don't make mistakes, you do nothing." I tried this at home for a few days but then it was impressed upon me that I better "get my lazy butt to work or all $%##* was going to break loose!" I won't make that decision again.

A mistake is anything you do that you later wished the heck you'd done differently. What are some of the common types of mistakes a person might make?

• I thought it made sense - you hear one thing and write down something else - argue a point when you had actually misheard the original premise. Turn in your tax return and get $400,000 back only to be audited by the IRS (Don't those forms just get more and more complicated?).
• Gee, that was stupid - You know you shouldn't do it but went ahead and did it anyway. Wow, the stories I could tell (Actually, the stories my Mom could tell but she's still trying to work through the unit on distortions). This one is my all-time favorites.
• Hey! It worked that way before - Relying on a similar situation to work out the same.
• The mountain was too high and too wide - Failure to reach a goal.
• Wasted effort - Redoing something you've already done. I think that goes back to why my folks were always trying to leave me in the restroom at the local Texaco station.
• Errors in judgment - Know the facts and just bet wrong. Boy, I wish I had that $330 back.
• Missed opportunities - Decide not to speak with a total stranger when it turns out to be a wealthy philanthropist looking to hire a "test shopper" for a week.
• Forgetfulness - Walk across the room and forget what you were going after - memory takes a vacation. I end up in the bathroom with my empty cereal bowl more often than I make it into the kitchen.
• Overindulgence in legitimate pleasures - So I puked my guts out when I ate the bag of Cherry Twizzlers. There was no warning on the label so how was I to know?
• Inappropriate emotional outbursts - Nope, you'll never get those stories out of me.
• Procrastination - I didn't fix the fence and the youngest son runs away from home, buys a condo, and embarks on a music career.
• Impatience - Just hurry up and read the dang page. I don't have all day.
• Violation of your moral code - Lie to someone and they find out about it. Oh, the stories my Mom could tell.

To make your mistakes start working for you - change the script that you use. View your mistakes as natural - valuable components from which to learn. You might classify them the following way:

• A teacher - Mistakes lead to growth and are the absolute prerequisite for any learning process.
• A warning - Dream of perfection turns mistakes from warnings into sins. Fight perfection by focusing on the warning rather than on yourself.
• A key to spontaneity
- Living means not always worrying about making a mistake. I hardly do and look what's happened to me. Maybe not the best example. George Bush doesn't and look at the countries he's invaded. Just wait a minute, I'll come up with a good example. Arnold took a chance and ran for governor and look what's happened to him.
• A path to success - Get over it and move on - try again.

Increase your mistake awareness and you'll move beyond those little errors faster and be able to present that positive attitude you're after. To increase your mistake awareness factor, follow these steps:

1. Before acting on or deciding to do something, ask these questions
• Do I really have to make this decision or is there a place I can hide?
• Is there someone else on whom I can pawn this decision off?
• How would Mother Teresa handle this?
• Will this tip off the IRS that my last tax return was filled out by my four year-old son?
• In the big picture, say, of Global Warming, will this really make a difference?
Ha, Ha, I was only kidding. Here's the real stuff:
• Have I ever experienced this situation before?
• Have I been as thorough as possible? Measured twice - cut once kind of things.
• What negative consequences can or might be expected to come from the decision?
• Are the consequences worth it, given what I expect to gain?
• Do I know any alternative with less negative consequences?
2. Make the decision and see how things go.
If the decision proves to be faulty STOP and remember that everyone makes mistakes.
3. Take responsibility for your mistake. Never ignore a mistake as that will only increase the chance you'll repeat it.
4. Forgive yourself because you've done the best you can and you've already paid for the mistake. Remember:
• Mistakes are unavoidable!!
• You are not your mistake!
• What went wrong? What can I learn?
• Never Condemn Yourself!

Remember to use affirmation statements to help reinforce the positive side of making a mistake. You've programmed yourself over the years to deal with mistakes the way you do now. Look at them differently by doing the mental pushups to get there. Here are some examples:

• I have worth because I'm a unique person.
• I have legitimate needs and a right to fulfill them.
• I am responsible for my life and my actions.
• I accept the consequences of my actions.
• One worthwhile action would be to include Joe Barnhart in my will.
• I do the best I can at any given moment.
• I am free to make mistakes.
• I am expanding my awareness to make better choices.
• No one is more or less worthy than me.
• I am letting go of mistakes from my past.
• I can learn from past mistakes - and that's what I should do.
• I've not sent Joe Barnhart money in the past but it really makes sense now.
• I should show compassion to others who make mistakes.
• I need to stand on my own feet and not rely on the praise of others.
• I must attempt to do new things to accomplish my goals.
• That Joe Barnhart really is a helpful guy and worthy of any money I can send him.
• Failing at something new only indicates that I'm trying.