The Cat Box is Your Friend
Of the 12 bazillon people on this earth, isn't it amazing that they can be organized
into two groups? Those who love cats and those who like to stick duct tape on the
bottom of their paws. This very second, there are over 70 million cats in the US and most are
either sleeping or using a cat box. We have the late Mr. Edward Lowe to thank for marketing the
first bags of "kitty litter" in the 1940's - a product that didn't see major refinements until 1984
when biochemist Thomas Nelson invented the first clumping variety. But an industry that doesn't evolve,
soon disappears.
I had a chance to visit with Mel Tingpoint at the Pee Catcher Company about some of their new
products. Here is just a portion of what proved to be a very enlightening visit:
Me: So Mel, how long have you been with Pee Catchers?
Mel: Since day one when we started shipping our recycled pine litter.
Me: Was that product very popular?
Mel: Yeah, sure, it was a best seller but we stopped production when Harold got caught at the lumber yard one night.
Me: What's new on the cat litter horizon?
Mel: That's top secret but just imagine timed-released crystals that spray the fresh sent of cinnamon as your cat digs the hole and tart apples when the deed is covered up. The market is wide open and you can bet bakeries will start keeping cats just for the scent.
Until you can get your hands on the new apple cinnamon litter, cleaning the cat box will be one of the
most disgusting things about owning a cat. Here are a few helpful tips for making the job a little bit more bearable.
1. Never pick up the cat litter box. Pools of misguided cat pee are sure to be hidden underneath. Unless you plan ahead and place the box on a highly absorbent avocado-green shag carpet.
2. Use a fresh-air feed air supply system similar to those used by nuclear plant workers when changing the plutonium rods.
3. Leave the cat box out for your dog's review. Ours loves the delicate Almond Roca pieces and what he doesn't eat - we just shake off the back step's rug.
4. Want to teach your cat to use the toilet? Forget it. They never remember to close the lid.
5. Avoid clay-based cat litter. When it gets wet and gooey it'll stick to everything. Heck, we're not building an adobe house here.
6. To reduce the chance of cat litter being scattered all over the house, use a fairly large sized litter box. An old bath tub works great.
7. Haven't cleaned the box in a week? Don't worry. Just pick it up and place it in any of your neighbors' trash cans. Two weeks and the stuff starts to glow. Three weeks and you can heat a small storage shed with it. You get the idea.
8. Look for a dust-free, hard clumping, super-absorbent, micropore-based, citrus blend cat litter with just a hint of eastern red cedar chips. It might cost a little more but you'll thank yourself for it.
9. Cats do like their privacy, so placement of the litter box should be carefully chosen. It was working great in my neighbor's garage until his wife came out in her pj's one night and caught me cleaning it. Nice pj's though.
10. Convince your cat that going outside makes more sense. I set up a classical conditioning environment where 12,000 volts ran through the cat box on small bare wires. Cats haven't used the box in months but old Amos has a slight twitch when I run the kitchen facet.
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