Less is More (L&M). A contradiction in terms if ever there was one. It seems logical that more is more and less is less and systematic removal of nasal hair is very painful. So why the hype about getting a reduced anything and boasting to your distant relatives from Bohemia that your reward is actually a whole lot more? Well, the answer is imbedded in many social artifacts with hidden ties to loosely formed organizational hierarchies like the Elks Club.

For my money, it looks like the origin of this counter-intuitive thinking has its roots with liberal arts institutions of higher education. Today's liberal arts are a wealth of study areas designed to take the student into the far reaches of cognitive expansion. Higher education wasn't always the "hot bed" of ingenuity and frothing delights that it is today. Let's look at some major developments that might have led to undeveloped visionary programs like chemical castration, tongue piercing, and of course - L&M.

During the Cenozoic era, much was being done about the development of an educational system. During this time humans began to flourish and during the Pliocene period I'm pretty sure Noah built his ark (which led to less is a whole lot less). Educational systems centered around physiological needs of the time including seminars such as:

• HUNT101 Elements of clubbing
• GATHER220 Forbidden berries for beginners
• HPSS450 Mating rituals of Grog (instructor permission)
• CHEM212 Fire Fundamentals with lab (extra fees)

The L&M reasoning process wasn't on the average Grog's radar. More was more, and more was a hell of a lot better than less. Having to beat your dinner to death before you could cook it over a blaze started by some chemistry student would cause you to be real skeptical about the L&M argument.

The Guttenberg printing press ushered in the next major change in educational dogma. Suddenly, mass communication provided large quantities of wholesome, mind-boggling books being distributed to everyday pagans. After the Bible, Johannes chose other popular educational texts like the Black Plague Burial Guide, Feudal Living for Dummies, Jousting Combat (includes DVD), Castle Plumbing and Public Toilet Construction.

This led to the infamous, "Book Buyback" program where books that originally cost two badger hides and a keg of ale would be bought back by the book trader for one goose feather. Students would be sorely disappointed receiving the goose feather, as the keg of ale alone was a treasure (some things don't change). It seems that during this time, once again, more was more.

One of the last major paradigm shifts in education came during an era of great turmoil and hardship. Yep, it was the introduction of disco music during last part of the 70s. Heralded as the new wave of rock and roll, it quickly created two listener camps-those who really hated it and those who liked it until they woke up the next morning with a brain-piercing hangover. Students were struggling to escape from the spinning disco ball - willing to embrace anyone who sang at the octave of his natural voice. Hence was born the less is more attitude - nurtured by surges of nausea from hours of disco music. Students were screaming, "Make the bad music stop - I want less and I don't care if I paid a $10 cover charge!"

Today's astute students know product scarceness causes a shortage and creates an increase in net worth. If they strive to get less knowledge, then the knowledge they receive will be worth more - hence less will be more. Previous generations, so blinded by the everyday hassles of survival, missed the logical premise and deduction derived from this line of reasoning.

How could this logic be any clearer unless we taped your eyes open and coated the pupils with Vaseline? Making an L&M sighting isn't as hard as might be expected as it's running rampant at liberal arts institutions across American soil (and a couple of places in southeast Romania). Here are some ways this becharming reasoning process might rear its head.

A popular mental alignment with students trying to get as little as possible out of an educational experience. Sometimes occurring in broad daylight it can be verified by notes on doors canceling class or rumors of "No Class" being spread by word of mouth. In most instances, parties involved frown upon suitable makeup experiences. Valid reasons in not a concern for such cancellations. Listen for students chanting "Get the heck out of here before the teacher actually shows up."

One the one hand, skipping class means missing course content. On the other hand, missing more content means less which equates to more using the following Stochastic differential equation:

This is as it should be, but the paradox occurs when an imbalance of the right thalamus of the brain causes the student to mistakenly deduce that less is less and consequently use fuzzy logic to invoke the argument "It's my tuition money." This is a definite paradox of good versus evil-only to be overshadowed by the breakup of Pangaea through plate tectonics.

This paradox is sometimes preceded by the Gregorian Chant, "Are we doing anything in class today?" Held in highest mystic regard it's not a requirement for the paradox to occur but its medicinal qualities include a soothing affect similar to drinking large quantities of cough syrup.

Thought to have originated during Attila the Hun times in northern Asia, the "minimal passing grade requirements" quandary is a very perplexing problem for L&M students. Realizing that pushing the grade envelope too far might require more work than necessary - resulting in a surplus of knowledge that would drive down the value of the educational experience. These students follow the Phoenician practice of humility and simplicity by only seeking what is necessary - nothing more, nothing less. A very admirable attribute believed to be genetically transferred.

Exemplified by the most sophisticated L&M students through highly advanced cognitive development. These folks are able to short-circuit, if you will, their right and left brain hemispheres to create a kind of super computer capable of such visionary questions as trying to ascertain the content of the next exam. A truly remarkable feat and once thought only manageable by Tibetan monks who had mastered the art of stone levitation.

Almost oblivious to outside determent from fellow (lesser) students, vision seeking students will openly ferret out the answer to this and the constipating question: "Is this worth extra credit?" This technique filters out the unnecessary knowledge - ensuring only the minimal amount of understanding is assimilated.

These L&M students have found the holy grail and the hidden secret to immortal free time (also known as perpetual weekends). There is a direct correlation between this revelation and one of the course's professor known as the "Gee, I just don't have anymore content to teach." To complete class before the last day is one of the most sought after L&M experiences but solely controlled by the faculty member. This leads to incredible consternation and frustration of L&M students as they seek out those most desired courses. Compassionate mentally - touched scholars who extend such opportunities regularly receive accolades from their students.

One can definitely see that the L&M reasoning is not external, behavioristic, contrived, nor capricious. It is well founded on logic methodology unlike any history has seen. So keep your eyes peeled as it's likely you will witness L&M firsthand. It's even been rumored that this highly confusing act has been trained into laboratory dogs. They no longer salivate when the bell rings but instead lay on their backs and wait for someone to scratch their tummies. In the future, we can expect L&M to lead to new marketing strategies where cans of Mountain Dew are intentionally filled half full (or is that half empty?) and sold with the slogan, "Less Dew but More Expensive - For the L&M Generation".